Dreams

27 January 2005
12:17am, Sai Kung

Something that I dreamed over a month ago happened today. It was both amazing and strange. If we really have the ability to foresee the future in our dreams, then is it not possible that all our life is predestined? If not, then how can we ever really see, no matter what level of awareness, something that is still to happen. Dreams are not all memories or longings or undisguised desires then. But what if dreams are the planning stage of human life? What if dreams were where we plot our life, like a strategic planning session? I have quite a few dreams that I can recall.

The first time I recognised that I have dreamed of something even before it happened was when Iyo Crispin Larena’s home at checkpoint burned down. After seeing what remained of the house, I realised that I have seen that exact scene somewhere before. Now, I am remembering the one dream that has stuck in my mind. I am inside a huge house in the middle of nowhere – looking out from a huge open window with white curtains being blown by the wind. And all I see outside is a large white sky with a hint of blue. The strangest thing about this dream is I am looking at myself from the sky. I don’t know what it means, but it seems so sad. It makes me weep even now. I used to think that it is something that I was in my previous life -that all the sadness that comes to take over me every so often is something that my heart has come to feel and learn so well in my past life. But what if it is something that is still to happen in the future? Is it someone’s pre-designed life for me? If so, who is it? Or is it something that I plotted in my dreams? Then how, why haven’t we discovered that there is a way to plan our life ahead?

I looked at my palm today and saw something that has never appeared before or if it did, it was something that I have never seen. Bing said that it means a “breaking-up of a relationship”. This year seems to be a heart breaker for me with so many strange lines appearing in my heart line. But if there is any consolation, lots of stars are connecting and shaping in my career line. Bing remembered that this very line seems to show a lot of promise since the last time she saw my palm and that I can expect more success to come this year. It’s another perplexing thing for me, to have my life written in symbols in my palm. Who does it and how is it done? Is it someone else or do I do it in a level of awareness that I could never be aware of?